So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
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I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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