Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
