Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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