So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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