the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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