She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
