college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
