do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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