I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
