I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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