so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
