So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
