I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
