His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
