I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
bring money and cleavage
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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