I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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