Who wears a wallet chain?!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
