I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
