these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
