Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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