Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
