dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
