They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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