can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
