I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
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Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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