I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
