He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
