I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Don't make out with my wife yet
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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