? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Come see our sink grown plant.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
