How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
