strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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