C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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