God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
