Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
