Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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