You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
