Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
