after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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