Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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