I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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