omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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