wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.