did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
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He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.