ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!