11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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