sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
