if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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