Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
