i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
