I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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