Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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