everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
