just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
