My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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