Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
not ubering you a puppy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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