Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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