I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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