And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
