nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
