you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
