So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
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