Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
