so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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