Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
