He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
