I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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