I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
