you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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