So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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