Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
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the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
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I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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