I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
