Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
