i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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