Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
